I Will Only Do This Once: The Slippery Slope of Self-Harm

I sit in my room, so tired of everything. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to punch a wall, I want to run, but I feel so trapped. I have no way to let out all of the pent of emotions inside. I think about cutting, but no my parents would notice, and I don't want to be sent to a mental institution. Maybe I could hit myself instead. It would just leave a bruise, and people get bruises all the time so no one would question it, and if they did I could just say I fell and hit my arm on my bed frame. Besides, it can't be as bad as cutting, and it was only once. What could it hurt?

So I did it, I hit myself until I bruised. The pain let out all of the emotions inside. Problem solved. I would never do it again, right? Wrong. Soon it turned from one bruise to two, then from two to three, then three to four. Soon, I was hitting myself almost everyday. I deserved it anyways, I was worthless. After awhile, it got so worse hitting my arms wasn't enough. I had to hit my stomach and my lungs to feel better.

This is the slippery slope I went down when I began to self-harm. I thought I would only do it once, but I ended up doing it every day (more than once too). Self-Harm is a terrible thing, and a very hard thing to stop doing. It took me awhile to stop, and there were a few times I messed up. I think self-harm is an addiction. You start with just a little but soon you need to do it, and it almost becomes an automatic thing. I know self- harm is a difficult thing to deal with, and is a way to get rid of the pain inside. When you first self-harm, you don't really want to but you don't know what else to do.

People think self- harm can be fixed easily. Just stop doing it. They don't understand that it is as hard to stop self-harming as it is for someone who likes to get drunk to just stop drinking. People often don't understand that you feel if you stop you'd just explode. They don't understand that self-harm is the only thing that keeps you from falling off the edge of insanity.

If you self- harm, please look for help. Find someone to be an accountability partner who will encourage you whenever you mess up. It really helps to have someone to encourage you and help you on the road to recovery. It won't be easy, but at least you will have someone to help you make it through.

If you have a friend that self-harms, please be patient with them. We mess up and sometimes it seems as though we'll never get better, but you have to remember it is a battle. Encourage them when they mess up and congratulate them when they succeed. Most of all, just be there for them.

Self-harm is a battle. Stay strong. You have made it this far, you can push your way through. You are a fighter, a warrior. Keep going, don't worry about your mistakes, because you will make them, just try harder because every time you mess up is another chance at starting over.

It may be raining now, but the sun will soon be shining.


-SunshineAngel

Inspirational Quote of The Day

Tough times never last, but tough people do.  - Robert H Schuller

Remember that whatever you are going through is only temporary. It will pass. It may last 1 year, it may last 20, but it will end. Once you come out the other side you will be stronger. You will survive, you will make it through. It won't be easy, but I am always here. I've been there. I know what it is like to want to give up, but I still continue on day by day. You are strong, you are mighty. Be brave. You can do this.

Rules (No one likes them but to keep this a safe enviroment we need them) and Introductions

Hello, my name is SunshineAngel (not my real name but this is a place where names do not matter). I have struggled with self harm, suicidal thoughts, and depression. While I struggled, I discovered that there are many people out there who also struggle just like me, and I wanted to make a safe place where they could come to talk and feel like they belong. I would love to get to know a little about you all, you can use a code name like mine (keep it appropriate, no adult content please), so please comment to tell a little about yourself. If you want to use a code name just comment anonymously and sign your comment with it. Ok now for the rules.

1. Absolutely NO bullying.
2. Respect other's beliefs, even if you do not agree with them.
3. No crude humor or sexual content.
4. No cussing.
5.  Be kind.
6. Be Respectful.
7. No encouraging people to commit suicide.
8. No promoting of drugs, alcohol, smoking, or any other harmful substances. (If you already do them, that's fine, just don't encourage others to do them.)
9. Don't turn conversations into political debates.
10. Don't bring drama or fights onto this blog.

These are all the rules I can think of, though I may need to add more as this blog continues to ensure a safe environment for everyone. I look forward to getting to know you all. :)

This blog will post discussion topics, people's stories (if they want), and encouraging posts, so if you are interested in submitting a topic, story, or encouraging post, I will make a special email you can send those too sometime in the near future.

Thank you,

SunshineAngel